It's All Goodnow……

Day 12 – Fat kid who can’t sleep

After 12 days and an estimated reduction of 14,000 beer calories  I have lost exactly ZERO pounds.  Nada.  Zip. I’m talking fat kid style over here.   That is mildly worrisome.  I usually drop weight without any problems at all.  I once lost 33 pounds in 6 weeks.  And now this.  Once I begin training for the half marathon  I should drop some weight.  If not I’ll start eating ice cream day and night because if I’m going to be fat, I plan on enjoying it.

Must be my diet because I am working out every day.  Maybe I need to start drinking coffee in the mornings to get the metabolism going.  I won’t bore anyone with the details of what I eat on a daily basis, but it isn’t bad (think yogurt, salad, and grilled chicken).  This is mildly concerning to me.  

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After watching the episode of Mad Men where the elevator “stops working” and they have to walk up to their office,  I decided to walk double the number of flights of my office.  Just to make sure I can do it incase there is another blackout or something like that.   It got me thinking…there are people in my office that would not be able to make it up or DOWN the 12 flights of stairs.  That’s sort of scary.  I do work in a building that is probably as much of a target for terrorism as any in the city.   I think that in order to work in a high-rise building a person should have to be able to walk up to their floor.  It just makes sense. 

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Sarah Palin and Fox News???? Come on……you could make a drinking game out of how many times she insinuates Obama is a foreign born terrorist.  

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I love the show “Life After People”  It showed my office collapsing after only 150 years.  That does not make me feel too good about the structural integrity of my building.  According to the show it is also susceptible to fires.  Hmmm

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Hoping to fall asleep before 2 am tonight.  I have no clue why I can’t sleep, I’m ready to go to my doctor (who happens to be loose with the ole prescription pad) and ask him for some Ambian.

Day 12- Lunch, Conf. calls, Free Happy Hours

At work.  I love it here.  Conference calls are the greatest thing in the world.   I am listening to a presentation on Retirement Benefits modeling.  Apparently old people have to work longer to pay their bills due to a lack of sufficient retirement income.   Yep, this is what I do for a living.  

I am so hungry right now.  I’m not sure if it is the working out or the lack of calories from drinking, but I could eat my left arm at the moment.  Only 44 minutes left on the conf. call  and I’m going to ravage the all you can eat salad place.  They give you unlimited toppings.   By the time I’m done the thing weighs over 3 pounds.  It borders on gluttony, but I rationalize it by maintaining that it is still a salad.   Regardless of the 2,750 calories that are in it.

Still no caffeine.  Today makes a week. 

I have decided that my first day of drinking will be Feb. 27th.  It is my fraternity’s Founder’s Day and there is no way I am going to be the only sober person in that crowd.  Not a chance in hell. 

I won a free 3 hour open bar this Thursday.  The guy from the bar called me and was really excited to tell me how drunk I could get.  Of course I would win 3 hours of free drinking while I am staying sober for 2 months.   Needless to say, I’ll be avoiding that temptation.

The conference call has now gone on to tell me that employees are being asked to do more for less money.   Really?  This is shocking news.

Day 11 – Vodka and milk

I like listing things. It is easier for me to keep track of my thoughts that way………….

I realize that I have not spent much time writing about the staying sober part of the last 11 days.  So here is what I have come up with.

1. I like drinking.  I don’t care what it is. While sitting at a bar yesterday I drank 2 pitchers of water.  Drinking is just as much a habit as anything else for me.  I would liken it to how smokers crave the feel of a cigarette between their fingers

2. Yes, I do miss it.  I savor the taste of beer.

3. Yet to see a significant drop in weight.

4. I just don’t like waking up.  Starting to think that with or without a hangover I have zero urge to get our of bed.  I tend to be groggy with a slight headache every morning.  Is that a problem?

5. I’m eating better.  Cooking for myself. Drinking protein shakes.  Salads.  Guessing that is better than deliciously greasy bar food.

6. Been to the gym or worked out 10 of the last 11 days.  

7. I was wondering to myself….ok, so I go 2 months without drinking.  Then what?  Is this just an arbitrary number or am I actually trying to make something of a lifestyle change?  I seem to do well when I stop drinking for a while, but then tend  slowly ease back into drinking nearly ever day.   Not sure how I feel about that.

8. I got a nice little Thank You note from my liver today.  It was very thoughtful.

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I watched Mad Men tonight.  Thoroughly convinced that I would dominate life back in 1960.  Not a question in my mind.  Here are the reasons:

1. Lack of being politically correct.  Oh lord I wish I could say what was really on my mind at work.  However, if I did there would probably be some form of cause to fire me every day.  In 1960 I would just tell people that they were dumb and should most likely be getting my coffee for me.

2. Drinking.  I am good at it.  People did it a lot.  I won’t go into too much detail, but I would dominate a 3 martini lunch. (because I  have NEVER done that.  Ever.  Not once.)

3. No cell phones, no email, no twitter, no facebook, no blogs.  In order to communicate you did it via phone or (and this is such a crazy concept that I can not even believe I am daring to write it) people actually spoke to one another, in person.   They got off of their asses, walked into someone’s office or to their desk and they had discussions about how to solve problems.  They went to lunch together.  They had drinks after work together. People interacted with each other.  When they were with one another they paid attention TO EACH OTHER.  How many times have you been out with someone who is constantly checking his or her phone???? ( I am as guilty as anyone)  People at baseball games, concerts, at the gym, at work, on the beach….not paying attention to what they should be, not fulfilling their obligations, not enjoying life because of this need to feel connected.  We live our lives in sound bites.  In 3 line text messages.  In picture messages.  In chat rooms. On facebook.  On email.  Conference calls.    And you know where all of this has gotten us…tune into Jersey Shore.  That is where it has gotten us. 

After reviewing that last paragraph….more of a tangant than why I would dominate in 1960, but I think I’d do well with face to face interactions.  You know, over a 3 martini lunch.

4. I would love to hire a hot secretary. On  who would hang up  my coat and get me coffee in the mornings. 

5. I think they were a bit more lenient with the expense accounts back in the day.

6. Elevator men…..that’s just cool.

7. People were more polite.  They opened doors, pulled out chairs, put on coats for women.  I’m down with that.

8. Did I mention that I saw a guy pouring Vodka into his milk on Madmen?  Gross yes, but deep down I know I now have to try it. (On or after February 27th)

9. Top hat.  I would would look good in a top hat.  Just thinking about it makes me want to go to Brooks Brothers tomorrow and get one.

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I now know far too many people who have a Snuggie.  It is scary and quite frankly a bit disturbing.

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If you like sports get yourself a book called “The Best American Sports Writing of 2009”  They articles in this book are as well written and insightful as I have ever come across.  From MMA fighters turned bank robbers, to Cuban baseball immigration, to a dude cutting off his leg so that he could run again, to rock climbing, and beyond….it is a great collection.

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I need a new phone.  Mine  just sucks and has stopped working on a consistent basis.  It is the Randy Moss of cell phones.  Just kind of does what it wants.

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If you have not done so check out the band Gaslight Anthem.  Perhaps the best band I have heard in ten years. 

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The more I think about it the more I’m pissed at myself for signing up for the death march know as a half marathon.  Stupid sobriety, causing me to make bad decisions.