Happy Hour- Not so happy

by agoodnow

I went to happy hour last night.  It was not happy and I did not last an hour.  When asked by someone at the table why I wasn’t drinking, my deadpan response was, “Court ordered”.  Some people laughed and others gave me a strange look as if to say “well, that’s the only reason that a person would ever not drink so maybe this guy really does have a problem”  It made for an akward silence.  You know, the kind where a person would normally drink to ease the tension at the table.  Nope, not me.  I just sat there…..the guy who wasn’t drinking. 

I was able to snag a few items from the sampler on the table.  A half of a chicken finger, a mozzarella stick, and 2 of the hottest wings ever.  It was so hot that I wanted to lick the outside of someone’s beer glass to cool off my mouth.   Luckily I was able to refrain as that might be the most creepy thing I can think of doing in public………maybe not, but it’s up there.

After 45 minutes I’d had about enough hanging out and not drinking.   I took my gym bag and went home.   Everyone was sad to see the sober guy leave. 

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Watching Conan….dude looks pretty pissed.  I know how depressed I’d be to get paid $45 m not to work.  Pee Wee Herman just showed up (you know, the guy who got caught jerking off in an adult theatre)  He is now playing with a stuffed giraffe.  Let’s see what Letterman is up to..

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Conan has a horse wearing a mink Snuggie on his show.   How did NBC ever let this guy go?