It's All Goodnow……

Day 30

Windchill of 7 degrees today.  It made for a chilly football game.  It was funny how much different the game is when the weather is under 20 degrees.  The ball is  just a little harder to a catch and it’s a little harder to stay loose.  We managed to play well and win 29-12.     (The final score was 35-12 because we were spotted 6 points because their team did not provide a ref for the game before ours.)  Our defense is playing well and we are moving the ball well.  I got angry for the first time on the field today.  Two people came off the field when we only had one sub and another time our team was just standing around while the other team’s offense got set and we let up a big play.  I shouldn’t get upset by this, but I don’t like being caught off guard.   I should have just called a timeout.

I was going to hit the gym after the game, but I plan on running 9 miles tomorrow so I thought I’d give my knees a break.  I’ll do some stretching tonight, but I’m still 7 weeks away from the half marathon and there is no need to over train.  I’m right on schedule. 

Day 30.  

I feel like I’ve gotten lazy since not drinking.  Not in regard to my motivation, but lazy toward going out.  I go to work, go to the gym, go home, eat, write/read/watch TV, sleep.  Do it over.  It is  a boring routine.  I’m not socializing. Even after my football games I’ve been taking it easy.  If I am going to stay sober I’ve got to get out and be more active.  I think a lot of people are hesitant to call me to go out because they know I’m not drinking.  I appreciate that, but being sober isn’t contagious.  I can still drink a soda water or two. 

I need a new job.  One that I want to get our of bed in the morning to go do.  How the fuck did I end up in a job (at a Fortune 35 company,  with a Director title)  that is a dead-end at the age of 28?   Seriously, what the fuck?

I could go for a Guiness.  Sounds delicious.  Or a carbomb.  That sounds doubly delicious.

Day 29

I got home today and took a nap.  No gym.  No drinks with friends.  No dinner.  Just straight to sleep.  So I woke up at 10:15.  Went downstairs, bought some Mega Millions tickets.  Ate some cereal.  Now I’m watching reruns of The Office.  I’m old and boring.  When I start drinking again, I’ll still be old, but it will spice up life. 

One of my buddies called today to ask what I wanted to do for my birthday.  It meant a lot because without drinking my birthday has the potential to be BORING.   Some people might laugh at me, but I want to go to Outback.   I know. It’s a chain steak restaurant, but I love it. 

There was a crazy guy on the subway today.  He was 5’4, 130 pounds.  He looked like he may or may not have been homeless.  He was talking about how he was 43 and was getting older, but he did not need anyone to give up their seat for him.  He spoke to every girl under the age of 30 asking if they were Sarah Jessica Parker.  He would ask them where Matthew was………    It was funny, but as I stood reading my magazine it hit me just how sad the situation was.  This man was obviously mentally ill.  It made me wonder……….how did he get to this place in his life.  How many rough spots must his life have hit to be standing on the subway babbling incoherently.  

I have always wondered about those who are homeless.  What happened?    It was years ago now, but I once stopped to talk to a homeless vet who was living in a cardboard box.  He had served in Korea years ago and when he got back from the war he was in advertising in New York.  He was mostly a sketch artist.  As we spoke, he never said how he ended up sleeping in a cardboard box on that sidewalk in midtown Manhattan, but he mentioned that he had divorced and he had two daughters.  I couldn’t help but feel he made one huge fuck up in his life and he could never put it all back together.    We talked about how his life was on the street.  He spoke mostly of theft.  The shelters weren’t so bad, but on a lot of nights (it was a warm summer night) he would rather be outside.   What struck me most was how put together he was.  How intelligent he came across.  How he completely accepted his situation.  He seemed at peace with what life had dealt him.  I’ve thought of that man a number of times over the years.  On cold winter nights like tonight I hope he made it to a shelter.  I hope his family found him.  Maybe he found his family.  And maybe he died without anyone noticing………..

It’s cold out.  I’m glad I stayed home tonight. 

At work some woman has not been in for a month so they moved all of her stuff out of her office and into a cubicle.  I have a feeling she is going to be pissed when she gets back. 

Who is excited for the Pro Bowl this weekend?   Yeah, me neither.