Home Depot, Happy Ending, Masters

Weekend was productive.  Some highlights:

Friday night I hit the gym thinking it would be empty.  No such luck.  Every meat head on the UES was lifting.  It bordered on bizarre.  Lots of tank tops.  Lots of fake tans.  Lots of short guys.   It was great.  My kind of crowd.  Makes me want to roll up my sleeves and show off the guns.


I went to Home Depot on Saturday afternoon in search of some shelving so I could get my clothes from off the floor.   Yeah, I had my clothes on the floor for the last couple of months because I threw away my dresser. 

So I’m walking the isles of Home Depot looking for something to put my clothes in/on……I cam across several interesting options, but in the end it came down to two choices:

1. The “master wardrobe 3000”.  This thing has it all.  Shelves, doors, a pole to hang clothes from.  This is the Cadillac of inexpensive bedroom storage facilities. 

2. The Lego set of a shelving unit.  All plastic.  Easy to assemble.  Five shelves, six feet high.  Simple.

So there I am in The Home Depot for about a half hour, walking between the two options.  Weighing the pros and cons of each.

Master Super Awesome Wardrobe 3000 (my title, not the makers….I think the actual name on the box is “Standard Wardrobe”):

Pros:  Stylish, would satisfy all of my shelving needs for years to come, would provide extra room to hang my golf shirts, is an attractive “institutional white” shade to it.  Overall, this wardrobe is a winner.

Cons: It weighs 195 pounds and I would have to pay to have it delivered.  It requires tools too assemble.  It looks difficult to assemble.  I do not like to assemble things.  I can see a trip to the ER in my future if I do try to assemble.  It says on the box “most difficult dresser in the world to assemble”.  My apartment does not have the type of space where I can spend the next 2 days attempting to put this thing together with spare parts everywhere. 

The Lego Set

Pros:  Who doesn’t like legos?  It is half as expensive as the “Super Awesome, Coolest looking, Amazing, Will iron your clothes for you…. Wardrobe 3000”  Appears to be easy to assemble.  Lightweight so I could get it home myself.  It doesn’t look too much like it would belong in a suburban garage and not an Upper East Side apartment…..

Cons:  It does require some assembly……

After weighing my options I went for the lightweight, supposedly easy to assemble, made for a garage shelving unit. 

So I get the Lego shelving unit home and I start assembling…..of course there is a part missing.  Why wouldn’t there be?  After 20 minutes (the box said 5 minutes assembly time), I was finished.  The unit does sway if I walk by it fast enough but I’m confident that it will stay up for at least 6 months.  After that I’ll invest in some duct tape.   For now, my clothes are off the ground and I have my own Leaning Tower of Pisa right in my apartment. 



Oh, but the weekend got even better.

Happy Ending. What an amazing place.   To sit in a nightclub that was at one time a “massage parlor”  is really something.  They left the shower stalls and the steam rooms just as they were 15 years ago before everyone got all “anti-fun” and closed the place down for “having too much of a happy time”.  What kind of a terrible place do we live in that prohibits happiness.  But I digress…..

I got to do some white guy dancing, some excellent people watching, got to see several girls cry, and one person fall down. 

Got home late (3 am, which used to be normal) and for the first time in MONTHS I did one of my favorite things……..late night pizza.  Barbecue chicken pizza.  Delicious.

Best of all………I stayed sober.  Not one drink.   Which enabled…………


A ten mile run on Sunday.  It hurt.  I felt like garbage, but I did it.  Going to have to start carrying water when I run because I got dehydrated fast and it was not even hot.


Watched some Master last night.  Best golf I have seen in years.  That was fun. 

Not going to lie, almost cried watching Phil hug his wife who has breast cancer.  It was a nice moment.