Facebook friend classifications

by agoodnow

I think the way that we communicate with people is funny.  Especially via facebook. Here are my categories of facebook friends:

1. There are people with whom I have not have an actual conversation (in person or on the phone) with in years.  But we can get to chatting via some form of online social medium and have a meaningful conversation.  About what has happened in their life, about what mutual friends have done, or about the world in general. 

2. There are people who duck in and out.  You hear from them in spurts.  A couple of texts, an email, a message on facebook one week and then NOTHING for three months.  Not that such things are so bad.  Those are the people that you chose to keep in your life, but you don’t really need them at all times.   Those are the people who will most likely pick up the phone at 3 am.  Good people to have around. Real Good.

3. Then you have people who you hear from all the fucking time that you want nothing to do with.  “Listen, I didn’t like you in 5th grade and I do not want to be friends with you now.”

 Those are the people that make you think “Why did I hit the ‘accept’ button for their friend request?”  We all have those.  The next thing you know they are inviting you to events and facebook chatting with you.   I recently went through and “unfriended” most of these morons.

4. Then you have your acquaintances.  People you knew in high school.  You were never close with them, but you like seeing what is going on in their lives.  You think it is great that they got married or had a kid.  I would venture to guess that 60% of my facebook “friends” fall into this category. 

5.The complainers.  Oh, how I loathe the complainers.  These are people who use social mediums as a way to bitch about the following:

a) Their job sucks  (yeah, get used to it!  They don’t call it work for nothing.  Shut up and sit in your cube OR go find a job you like)

b) People drive like assholes (news flash………you probably do too)

c)The weather sucks (We know)

d) Errands suck (Then don’t fucking do them)

e)They are too busy and don’t have enough time in the day (Get off of Facebook and start accomplishing things)

f) Sick of people “talking shit” (I have seen that a million times.  I don’t care.  Nobody else does either. Get new friends if you don’t like you current ones)

g) Something in code about someone letting them down.  (Cause I’m a mind reader, I know what your problems are.  If you are going to bitch on facebook at least have the decency to tell me what you are bitching about)

6. Happy people – I love these people.  Always positive.  Always something good to say.  Usually:

a) New mothers

b) People going on vacation

c) Anyone who has come into contact with me in the last 24 hours

d)People who just got a promotion (this borders on breaching my next topic)

e) People who just got engaged or married

7. People who drop things like how much money they just spent on a house, a car, or shoes.  They are the same people who comment on every business trip they go on or post every time they are at a sporting event.  It isn’t the worst thing in the world, but it can be annoying.   I guess I see bragging via Facebook as low brow.  I suppose sometimes it is a thin line between sharing good news and bragging.

8.  Your family.  This may be the best part of facebook.  I know what is going on with cousins in Maine, upstate New York, North Carolina, Connecticut, Nevada, and Hawaii.   I do not see them nearly enough and I like keeping up with their busy lives.

Though I will say, I get nervous that I’m friends with my Mom and some of my younger cousins.  Certain facebook posts  (ie drinking, late nights, rough mornings) border on things I’d rather not share with everyone.

9. Party animals.  You only hear about drinking and hangovers.  I like these people.

10. Your real friends. 

You  don’t need facebook for them.  

I will end this post with a quote from my high school German teacher:

“If at the end of your life you have two friends………..Friends, not acquaintances, but people with whom you could trust your life.  Well, then you did something right.”

That always stuck with me.