Donut Shop Break-In

by agoodnow

There is  a rookie wide receiver for the Seattle Seahawks who was recently cited by police for having inappropriately obtained donuts.   You read that correctly.  The guy snuck into a donut shop at 3 am and grabbed some maple bars. 


So the baker is making maple bars at 3 am and has to use the restroom.  He leaves the door unlocked and in wanders this (I’m going to guess intoxicated) football player looking for some Maple bars.  So the baker comes back in and sees this monstrous (6’5, 225 pounds of pure muscle) guy eating maple bars in the  bakery. 

The baker calls the police.  (As would any rational person in such a situation. )  The police show up.  Most likely realize who this donut thief is and issue him a warning. 

Here is my guess as to how that conversation went:

Cop: Sir, you do know how stupid this is, right?  You broke into a donut shop at 3am. 

Donut Thief (DT): The Waffle House was closed…..

Cop: Be that as it may, you can not just break into a donut shop.  You scared the baker half to death.

DT:  (Still eating his Maple bar) I feel bad about that.  I’ll get him tickets to our first home game.  50 yard line.

Cop:  A football player, huh?  This could have a pretty negative impact if you get arrested……

DT: I think I can get a couple more tickets for you as well.

Cop:  Looks like a verbal warning will work, but stay out of the donut shop until it is open for business!

DT:  Yes, sir.

Cop: By the way, how was that maple bar?  I was thinking about grabbing one for the road.

DT: I broke into a fucking donut shop at 3 am.  They are delicious.

Cop: That’s what I thought.

This will be the best thing to happen to that donut shop.  I bet the sales of those maple bars go through the roof.  This guy will probably be their spokesman. 

I bet this turns into a great career move for him.  Being drunk and hungry at 3 am.  Who would have thought any good would ever come from that?