167 was the high today.

by agoodnow

Are you joking with this heat?

1. 100 degrees in NYC today.  Do you know how hot that is by the time you take into account all of the pavement and buildings keeping the heat trapped?  Like 167 degrees.  Seriously. 

2. Expecting all of the power to go out in about………………well, anytime now.  I would say that it is a good thing that today is a holiday and most people are out of town, but they will all be back tonight.  Tomorrow and Wednesday are supposed to be just as hot.  I’m predicting a big blackout.  Days without power.  (and hopefully that means no work)

3. It is dangerous for male reproductive organs to be outside right now.  It is like being in a fucking whirlpool. 

4. This is the first time I have been glad that I slept until noon in a long time.  I was happy I was not awake so that I can melt.

5. Hello Mr. Electricity Bill.  How are ya?  What’s that?  I should just sign over a week’s pay to you?  Ok, sounds fair.

6. Hello Mr. Fridge.  You know how you started working again?  Yeah, could you start doing that again?   Thanks.

7. I may go to the gym and then the bar just for free AC.   Sounds smart to me.

8. Anyone running outside should have his or her head examined.  The only reason to run is if you are being chased by the following:

The police

Tiger Wood’s wife (ie the most eligible bachelorette in the world right now)

An ex-girlfriend with a knife

An ex-girlfriend with DNA test results in her hand

That’s it.  If anyone tried to rob me, I would just hand over the money.  If someone is out robbing people right now, they need the money far more than I.

9.  I took my first cold shower without some form of……….needing to “calm” down in years.  I hate cold water.  My own personal hell is cold water.  Don’t ask why.  Just hate it.  Either way, it is THAT hot.

10. What the fuck did people do 100 years ago?  My apartment was built in 1908.  I could not imagine what this building was like without AC.   Hell, it would be hell.  The devil would actually greet people before they entered.  (The role of the devil is now played by my Super)

11. The sauna at my gym  gets below 100 when it has been off for 20 minutes. And the sauna lacks the direct sunlight. 

It is too hot to write this blog.  I can not even think.  I do not really want to workout either.  I think the bar is the best choice on a day as hot as today.   Because, afterall, it is still the weekend.