I hope you get eaten by a lion

by agoodnow

A few comments…….

1. If your job is to be an idiot and go wrestle alligators, fish in dangerous waters, hunt polar bears, survive in the desert for the sake of a “reality” TV show……..then you deserve to be eaten by some form of ferocious animal.   A lion perhaps.  A large, angry lion.  With big teeth.  That is hungry. And has cubs to feed.  And has a particular disposition toward  hunting down stupid humans.   Yep, that’s what I want to see.

But do you know what I really want to see?  A Panda attack.  A Panda going nuts and jumping over a fence to attack someone.  Call me strange, but I would like to see that on the “Panda cam”.

(Close your eyes for a second and think about the Panda attack.  Try not to laugh.  It won’t happen)

2.  To the construction crew that started work at 7:15 this morning.   You suck.  Your families suck.  Your parents suck for having brought you into the world.  It is not, under any circumstance outside of a disaster of biblical proportions, ok to use a saw to cut through steel beams before 8am in a residential neighborhood. 

I’m really quite pissed about that one. I can deal with a lot living in this city, but that is utterly unacceptable.

In third world countries that sort of thing is punishable by chopping off a hand.

3. New dream job:  movie director.   Travel, odd hours, interesting people.  I could wear shorts everyday.  Where do I sign up?

4. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is brilliant.  Any show that has Danny Devito sewn into a couch, naked and then has him bust out of said couch during the middle of an office Christmas party is pure genius.  I had to catch my breath after that scene.

5. August 9th……marathon training begins…….come get some.

6. Thinking about changing the theme of the blog.  Not sure to what yet, but I want to get specific about something

7. $32 to get my laundry done.  Sure, it beats sitting in a hot laundr – o- mat, but that is borderline theft.  Coupled with the fact that it is a cash business…… criminals. 

8.  This whole vegetarian thing is getting old. I want a duck buritto.   Of course, ducks spend a lot of time in the water….so I guess they could be classified as fish…….right?  Maybe? 

9. I need to buy a plant or something for my apartment.  It is necessary.  Just as much because I think it would be good to have to try to keep something alive (other than myself, which is a task in itself)