I hope you get eaten by a lion
A few comments…….
1. If your job is to be an idiot and go wrestle alligators, fish in dangerous waters, hunt polar bears, survive in the desert for the sake of a “reality” TV show……..then you deserve to be eaten by some form of ferocious animal. A lion perhaps. A large, angry lion. With big teeth. That is hungry. And has cubs to feed. And has a particular disposition toward hunting down stupid humans. Yep, that’s what I want to see.
But do you know what I really want to see? A Panda attack. A Panda going nuts and jumping over a fence to attack someone. Call me strange, but I would like to see that on the “Panda cam”.
(Close your eyes for a second and think about the Panda attack. Try not to laugh. It won’t happen)
2. To the construction crew that started work at 7:15 this morning. You suck. Your families suck. Your parents suck for having brought you into the world. It is not, under any circumstance outside of a disaster of biblical proportions, ok to use a saw to cut through steel beams before 8am in a residential neighborhood.
I’m really quite pissed about that one. I can deal with a lot living in this city, but that is utterly unacceptable.
In third world countries that sort of thing is punishable by chopping off a hand.
3. New dream job: movie director. Travel, odd hours, interesting people. I could wear shorts everyday. Where do I sign up?
4. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is brilliant. Any show that has Danny Devito sewn into a couch, naked and then has him bust out of said couch during the middle of an office Christmas party is pure genius. I had to catch my breath after that scene.
5. August 9th……marathon training begins…….come get some.
6. Thinking about changing the theme of the blog. Not sure to what yet, but I want to get specific about something
7. $32 to get my laundry done. Sure, it beats sitting in a hot laundr – o- mat, but that is borderline theft. Coupled with the fact that it is a cash business…… criminals.
8. This whole vegetarian thing is getting old. I want a duck buritto. Of course, ducks spend a lot of time in the water….so I guess they could be classified as fish…….right? Maybe?
9. I need to buy a plant or something for my apartment. It is necessary. Just as much because I think it would be good to have to try to keep something alive (other than myself, which is a task in itself)