Did you hear me coughing this morning?

by agoodnow

I woke up not to the sweet sound of my alarm clock’s buzzing, but to my own coughing.  I woke myself up to cough.  After a five minute coughing fit and the inability to breath I called work and politely let them know that I would be unable to attend regularly scheduled work day activities.  It was my RSVP for the day.

Besides, everyone hates that dick who comes into work and coughs, sneezes, and spreads disease to his fellow co-workers.   I don’t want to get everyone sick.  By my calculations that makes me something of a hero.  A regular white collar hero.  An example to be followed. 

(Or maybe I just didn’t want to go to work feeling like garbage and having to spit up phlegm every 4 minutes)

So I turned the regular old calling out of work into something that I feel pretty good about. 

Slept until noon.  Ate 16 cough drops.  Made some coffee.  Added some soy milk to it.  (Listen, if you haven’t tried soy milk don’t know it.  That shit is good.  Especially in coffee.)  Now I’m writing in the confines of my home where I plan on recovering and getting myself to a place where I do not look like a patient from AMC’s new show “The Walking Dead”.

Though I will leave for a brief amount of time to go out and vote.  It is important that we do not elect certain whack jobs from Buffalo, NY to the office of governor. 


Baseball season is over.   Though for me it has been for the last month or so.


I need to return a library book.  It is late….of course.


After the last coughing fit I had, it is unlikely that I will ever smoke anything again for as long as I live. (Please note – I have not smoked anything in at least 3 months)  I could not imagine having lung cancer.


I have not shaved in almost one week.


Not being on Facebook is awesome.  Try it.  Go one week.  Life improves.  You start concentrating on the things that matter in your immediate control rather than keeping track of a bunch of people that you could care a whole lot less about.


I think I need a change at work.  Either a new role or something.  I feel stagnant.  Lacking any creativity.  No upward mobility.  Not the place you want to be at 28.