My Cousin Gets Married

by agoodnow

My cousin’s wedding.

My cousin and I have always been close.  We are only 3 months apart from one another in age and we always seemed to be getting in trouble together growing up.  She is one of those people who knows me all too well.  She can sort of read my mind a little bit (poor girl) 

This weekend she got married in what was a cozy, intimate wedding.  She and her husband were surrounded by friends, family, and the family that none of us want to admit that we are related to, but have to by default (we all have em)  She looked beautiful. 

That said here are the PG notes from the wedding weekend:

1. Ok, listen up.  Seriously, if I don’t know you and I just met you 5 minutes ago the odds are that I don’t want to see the 8 inch scar on your stomach.  Keep your fuckin clothes on.  Thanks.  Great.  Glad we got that one out of the way.

2. My Mom is awesome.   She did a lot to go above and beyond to make my cousin’s day just a little better, a little nicer, and a little more special.  (Though I am frightened to ever get married after seeing how intense/stressed she got over my cousin’s wedding.  I cannot/do not want to imagine what she would be like if/when I ever get married.  Thanks for the test run Amber!!!!)

3. No open bar was no problem when your uncle shows up to the bar with a wad of hundreds and a good buzz on.  Didn’t pay for a drink all night.    (Come to think of it I should have asked for a loan while he was feeling generous)

4. I now know that you can have an extremely classy wedding for not a ton of money.  I was impressed with how well my cousin was able to spend her (ok, a lot of her father’s) money.  But regardless, everything was great.  I think people go overboard with weddings.  I had just as much fun at this wedding as I did at the ones that have cost $100,000 +

5. Day of the wedding my uncle (disclosure, I have five uncles on my Mom’s side of the family) – the one who was the father of the bride – and I went to the gym in the morning.  Work out some of the nerves he had about the day.  That was on Saturday.  I am still sore.  Dude worked me over.  Made me realize the importance of having someone to work out with.   I felt like a really miniature Arnold who runs too much and has zero muscle mass.  So….actually, nothing like Arnold.   More a skinny white guy who rolls his sleaves up to look at the small amount of definition in his biceps (it is sad, I know)

6. We went from the gym to the florist.   Apparently, we were a little late and the florist was closed.  Luckily the woman stayed a little late and we got the flowers.  I think I would have broken a window to get in if I had to.  It was a big enough day for breaking and entering.   My cousin was getting married and I’ll be damned if she didn’t have her bouquet.

7. After the “flower incident” my uncle and I went to the bar for a couple of hours.   It was a good thing to get out of his house while 9 women got ready.  The bathroom looked like armageddon after they were done.

8. I ended up having to get ready in 8 minutes.  (I looked pretty damn good for an 8 minute “put together”)

9. More people complimented me on my beard and my weight loss than I can count.  I guess I should keep up with the running and proper beard maintenance. 

10. I got to sit with my grandfather and shoot the breeze with he and his wife for a while.  It was good to catch up.  I do not see them nearly enough.

11. I missed all of my family members who could not make it.  Each and every one of them. 

12. My uncle gave one of the better father of the bride speeches I have heard.  It was perfect.  Hit all the right notes.  All the right emotions.  It made his daughter happy.  What else do you need?

13. Oh, big news.  My theme of moderation was kept in tact!!!!!!   Kept it together and did not have a hangover the entire weekend. (for those of you who do not know me too well, this is a huge step in the right direction)

14. After flying from NYC to Portland, ME I do not think I will ever drive again if I can avoid it.  It was cheap and easy.  (Much the same way I like my wom……..nevermind)

15. Big ups to the groom for not passing out during the ceremony.  

16. It was great to get to know my cousin’s husband.  I had not been able to spend much time with him before this weekend.  Good guy.  Glad he is part of the family.   I think they make a great couple.  (which is all that really matters)

I truly had a great weekend.  Time with family makes you realize how much you miss them and how important they are.  They keep you grounded.  They know you.  The real you.  You can’t fake it around your family.  They can call you on your bullshit.   I’m thankful to have those people in my life.

Big congratulations to Amber and Bryan.  Great day – one I was honored to have been apart of.

PS.   Thank you for having a short, non – religious ceremony.   You guys rule.