Whole Foods

by agoodnow

I went to Whole Foods for the first time today.  You know, so that I could purchase healthy, high quality foods to better serve my body.  Visions of lean meats, fruit, and humus filled my mind. 

A few notes:

1.  If you are a person who is giving out samples of cookies how about you not give me the third degree about if I am going to buy the product.  Let me taste the fucking cookie and I’ll make an appropriate judgement on its quality.  Then and only then will I make a decision.  (If you can’t tell the lady giving out the cookies was a real bit…….mean spirited lady.

2. If I ever need a date in a hurry.  I’m going to Whole Foods in Union Square.  I do not think I have ever seen so many attractive women as I did today. 

3. The prices are low.  Much lower than I expected.  I saved $2 on my cereal.  That’s what I call a win.

4. The checkout system they have is interesting.  You get into a line and then a big board tells you what register to go to (34 registers)  Not going to lie, I was confused by the whole process when I first got in line. 

5. Free beer samples = Don’t mind if I do.

6. There is a fantastic chocolate selection. 

7.  Chilean blueberries – $3.50.    I could live on them.

8. The place is a zoo.  It was like  being at a nightclub with how often I was getting bumped into.  The quality of the women was actually much better than many of the bars I have been to.  I’m telling you, I’m dressing up if I ever go back there.  Maybe put on a little Axe body spray.  Who knows what could happen….

In conclusion, I ended up purchasing:

A box of blueberries

A box of cereal

A container of low-fat humus

Frozen fruit

Two chocolate bars

A bottle of beer made in Maine

That’s what you call well-rounded.