I went to Whole Foods for the first time today. You know, so that I could purchase healthy, high quality foods to better serve my body. Visions of lean meats, fruit, and humus filled my mind.
A few notes:
1. If you are a person who is giving out samples of cookies how about you not give me the third degree about if I am going to buy the product. Let me taste the fucking cookie and I’ll make an appropriate judgement on its quality. Then and only then will I make a decision. (If you can’t tell the lady giving out the cookies was a real bit…….mean spirited lady.
2. If I ever need a date in a hurry. I’m going to Whole Foods in Union Square. I do not think I have ever seen so many attractive women as I did today.
3. The prices are low. Much lower than I expected. I saved $2 on my cereal. That’s what I call a win.
4. The checkout system they have is interesting. You get into a line and then a big board tells you what register to go to (34 registers) Not going to lie, I was confused by the whole process when I first got in line.
5. Free beer samples = Don’t mind if I do.
6. There is a fantastic chocolate selection.
7. Chilean blueberries – $3.50. I could live on them.
8. The place is a zoo. It was like being at a nightclub with how often I was getting bumped into. The quality of the women was actually much better than many of the bars I have been to. I’m telling you, I’m dressing up if I ever go back there. Maybe put on a little Axe body spray. Who knows what could happen….
In conclusion, I ended up purchasing:
A box of blueberries
A box of cereal
A container of low-fat humus
Two chocolate bars
A bottle of beer made in Maine
That’s what you call well-rounded.