I woke up today and came to the stark realization that my apartment has not been cleaned in a few months.  I’m talking about actual cleaning, not just picking up my clothes from the floor.  So here I am, three hours into this ordeal and my apartment is now in much worse shape than it was when I began.  I made the grave error, the monumental error in judgment of taking on the task of cleaning out my closet.  Amongst the skeletons that were in there I was able to find a tennis racket, which is nice because I would like to start playing tennis and three shoe hangers that were obviously given to me be my mother.  (I will never use them so if anyone wants a shoe organizer please let me know).  Now the contents of my closet are spewed about my apartment.   I now have some lofty decisions to make:

1. What to do with old fraternity t-shirts.  I never wear them, but do I keep them just to keep them?  I personally think that 29 year old men who wear frat t-shirts look like assholes. 

2. My first concert t-shirt.  It is tie dye with Eddie Vedder’s face on it.  Ehhhh…..if Pearl Jam were still good I might keep it, but they haven’t been in a long time. 

3. Socks that don’t match.  All going.

4. Sheets that went from white to yellow (several causes for that).  Gone.

5. Pillow cases that would make a black light cry.  Done.

6. T-shirts from weddings.  Gone.  (Come on people, seriously, I’m not wearing a shirt from your wedding other than the wedding weekend.

7. Old undershirts with frayed collars.  I will use those as dust rags or to shine my shoes (of course, I don’t plan on shining my shoes for a long time, but just in case)

8. A pair of snoopy sleeping pants.  Yeah.  No.  Don’t think I ever wore those.  And another thing, I have seen enough Snoopy to last 14 lifetimes by now.

9. Jeans with a hole in the crotch.  Not really my style.  But might be good for painting.

10. A t-shirt given to me at a Montreal strip cl……er….a Montreal bar that reads:


I wore it for the rest of that night.  I can only imagine how much of a dick I looked like, but hey….. whatever happens in Montreal comes back with you and stays buried in your closet for 10 months.  Sadly, that too is going to end up in the trash. 


This place looks like a battlefield, but it is about time I got it looking like less of a train wreck.  Tomorrow is laundry day and I will tackle the beast that is my kitchen. 


Some notes:

I am getting into playoff hockey. 

I need a steam cleaner for my carpet and couch.

I watched the first season of Eastbound and Down last night.  Pretty funny stuff.  I like the mullet.

Sox v. Yanks the next three days.   Might be some good games there.

I need to go to Bed, Bath, and Beyond for two items.  Though I know I’ll end up dropping the obligatory $73

I got some discount sushi last night.  Yes, I am still alive.


Day two of funemployment is going very well.  At this given moment, I’m not sure if I could be much happier.  Life is going well and the summer of Andrew has just begun!!!!