Love and Hate for Running

by agoodnow

I have a real love/hate relationship with running.  

For example:

One day I think to myself, “Self, you really should go for a run today.It is a healthy activity and you know that no matter how bad you feel during the run, you will feel great afterwards.  Suck it up and get some fresh air in your lungs.”   Then the next day I think, “Self, fuck running.  What do you think, you are going to win a marathon?  You are most likely going to hurt yourself!  Screw that, let’s go drink beer.”

Please note- these are real conversations I have with myself.  They are not works of fiction.

So this morning I had something of a panic attack. It happens.  So I had another talk, “Self, you have got to go spend your energy in a productive way.”  There would be no way for me to have a panic attack while running because my body is too busy hating me to do anything other than put one foot in front of the other.  So I hauled my fat carcass to Central Park and started.  About 8 minutes in I wanted to punch myself in the forehead for deciding to go for a run at noon in the heat of the day.  I stopped three times for water.  Brutal. 

Things I saw in the Park today:

1. Worker’s boycotting The Boathouse restaurant. Apparently they are claiming there are rats there.  Funny, I know a couple who just got married there.  I hope it was rat free for them or at least mostly rat free.

2. An Asian couple getting married.  On a Tuesday.  At noon.  I’m just throwing this out there….kind of an odd time to get married, no?  To each their own, but not the time I would be getting married. Unless Tina Fey were to get divorced and ask me to get married on a Tuesday at noon.  I’d probably make that happen.

3. The cutest Golden Retriever in the world.  I considered stealing it.

“Self, should we steal that dog?  I mean, you aren’t running very fast, but I’m sure you can run fast than its owner.  Plus she is wearing flip flops and has a camera in her hand.  You’ve got this.  Think about it this way, there is no way you don’t pick up a girl in the Park with this dog.  Now steal that fucking dog!”

Sadly, I did not steal the dog and thus there was no picking up of women in the Park.

4. Tree removal EVERYWHERE.  I will NEVER walk in that park during a storm.  EVER.  I will do some serious thinking about walking in the park when it is windy.  It is no wonder that people die from falling branches.  It looked like Paul Bunion rolled through after a night of heavy drinking and started cutting shit down.  Place is a mess.

5. Tourists asking me for directions.  Having been a tourist for a full month recently, I was more than happy to lend a helping hand, though in retrospect it was immediately after I was done running, I was dehydrated and a little dizzy.  May have told them to go the wrong way, but my intentions were good.   I swear.


I should be running in that park more often.  It is a great mid-day activity when I get done with my morning writing. Gives my body a jump start.  And helps get rid of that nervous energy I sometimes let build up inside of me.