Is it me or does it seem like there are a whole lot of people protesting these days? Seems like the news is full of people who are pissed off about stuff. I guess I can see it. There are a lot of people out of work. Home values have plummeted. Corporations are sending jobs to other countries. I mean, doesn’t everyone love calling customer service and speaking to “Mark” in India? That is what I would like to protest.
Here are some other things I would like to protest:
1. Eating a third hot dog. Two is enough.
2. High food prices when we pay farms NOT to grow food.
3. Winter. I would like to protest winter.
4. Girls with the first name that begins with K and ends in elly.
5. Animals peeing on Manhattan streets.
6. My favorite Red Sox bar closing.
7. Buffalo, NY
8. Cabs honking their horns.
9. Flying coach.
10. The Aflac duck. Fuck that thing.
11. My cell phone. It has started randomly turning off.
12. Me not having my own sitcom yet.
13. Literary agents not liking me.
14. Me not owning a panda yet.
15. The X Factor
16. I would like to protest the Wall St. protests.
17. Fast food hangovers……there is such a thing.
18. Spray tans.
19. Tina Fey being married.
I’m sure I can think of some other things, but for now I need to start my protests. Who is coming with me?