New Year’s Plans

It is that time of year.  The end of one.  The beginning of another.  New Year’s Eve.  One of two drinking holidays that I have very little patience (the other being St. Patrick’s Day).  You see, everybody wants some magical New Year’s.  They want to kiss at midnight upon watching a ball drop all the while drinking expensive champagne and laughing the night away with friends. 

Yeah, that shit doesn’t happen.  At least not to me. 

New Year’s (for me) is typically the following:

Some terrible open bar that where I pay $70 from 10pm – 2am, end up getting four drinks because the place is so crowded and then for the “champagne toast” at midnight – given some sort of bubbling cider that is most likely left over from the previous year.  

Bar hopping – going place to place until the clock hits the magical time of 4 am….of course, one year I was doing this and at the last bar of the night my coat got stolen.  As I recall that was a BITTER cold evening.  So not only was I out a few hundred bucks on the coat, but then I almost caught my death in the cold while trying to hail a cab.  Yeah, that night sucked.

Spending too much money.  Cover charges.  “Open” bars.  Cabs. Dinner.  It is like taking yourself out on a fucking date. 

There was one year where I ran the midnight race in Central Park and then hung out with some people in the FBI and played with real guns.  So that was smart.  Also, probably the most productive New Year’s I have had in a long time. 

Then there was the “sick girlfriend” year where she was so ill that she couldn’t get out of bed so I sat on my couch while making as little noise as possible and drinking a bottle of wine.  Actually……..that wasn’t such a bad New Year’s when I look back on it.  Didn’t have to deal with the crowds, drank good wine, spent the night with someone I loved (albeit on her death bed).   Unfortunately this year I am sans death bed girlfriend so that is now out of the equation.

So this year I don’t have New Year’s plans.  Just as well.  It will save me money and probably a lot of annoyance. 

I always wonder about the people who stand in the middle of Times Square for twelve hours to get a good spot to watch the ball drop.  Where do they go to the bathroom?  Do they just hold it for twelve hours?  That doesn’t sound very comfortable to me.  Plus it is going to be cold this year.  No thanks.  My idea of no fun at all.  Would rather watch on TV.