The Will

by agoodnow

I am sitting here at my Mom’s house in Connecticut.  I drank champagne.  I ate her white lasagna.  And……I reviewed her will.  Yep, last will and testament.  Real. Fucking. Uplifting.  So I reviewed the will.  I made some adjustments…..

For example:

1. If my Mom gets a cold.  Pulling the plug.  I don’t know where the plug would be, but it is gone.  

2. If I take guardianship of my sister (scary thought) I get paid for as long as she is under my care.  She will be living at home until she is 40 if that is the case. 

3. My sister gets all of the jewelry to which I said to my Mom, “What if I have a daughter, wouldn’t you want her to have some of your jewelry?”  My Mom laughed.  Maybe it is time to take my dating life a bit more seriously.

4. My Mom told me to use my best judgment.  Has she met me?

5. I asked her if there was any money hidden to which she told me, “Like we would tell you if there were.”  Good to see I am the executor of the estate. 

 

I make light of this only because it was something very morbid to think of and humor is a good way to escape.