I have decided to go very dark with my next book. It is about 80 pages deep and because I am having a tough time writing I am changes tact. Shit is about to get bad for every character in the book. I’m talking end of days dark. And why not? It is my book. My characters. My ideas. Why should I write a book that I think I should be writing? I need to be more honest as a writer, get dark and horrible when it is needed. No more rainbows. No more clear skies. No more rooting for the main character. Not going to happen.
While writing about writing…..agents. I think I need to go to some writing conferences. I have to meet agents and charm them over three martini lunches or something cause query letters ARE NOT WORKING. I got a batch of rejections today. Yes, batch.
Every response I get, always excites me. THIS COULD BE THE ONE! And then there is some form letter rejection that makes me heart sink. I get that agents have a lot on their plate, but just one personalized letter that says, “You know, this wasn’t bad. Just not my cup of tea. Keep at it, this book will find a home.”
I know that is me wanted to be coddled, but it is more that I want to know the agent is reading more than the query. That he or she (usually a she) is reading a page or two. Query letters do nothing. If I wanted to summarize books I would go back to 5th grade and write a fucking book report. I chose to write. To create and to dumb down my book into a page of a sales pitch just sort of pisses me off.
So I will keep writing my queries. I will start attending conferences and I will now cross my fingers because My Sober Year is special to me and I think it deserves a home and more important – a chance to succeed.