Annoying Pictures of Children on Facebook

by agoodnow

OK, so you have a cute kid.  That’s great.  I am certain your’s is the cutest child in the world.  Ever.  Without any doubt.  And that is great.  I am happy for you and your superior gene pool.  Your child will grow up to have the looks of Adonis and the wisdom of Plato.  

Here is the thing.  I don’t give a fuck.  Stop posting every fucking photo of your kid on Facebook.  Do you know why?  I don’t your kid wants his or her picture all over the internet.  Is it a good idea to list the places you go with your child?  I know there are privacy settings on Facebook and all, but come on….any mid level hacker could get into your account.  Just saying, we live in a strange world and for all the parents out there you may want to reconsider posting your kid’s life story just yet.  

And also, I find it annoying.  But really, do it for your child’s safety….not posting every fucking picture you take of him or her on Facebook.  Thanks. 

Do it for the kids. 


Here is a list of photos you should never post again:

1. Any nude picture of a child.  Ever.  Mostly because it is just mean.

2. Any picture of your child sleeping.  Keep that moment for yourself, you don’t need to share it with the world.  Shouldn’t some things be just for you?

3. Your child playing with a toy.  I get it, your kid is spoiled rotten.  I don’t care. 

4. Really, any picture of your child inside of your home.  There is nothing all that special about what your kid is doing inside.  “Hey let’s take a picture of Andrew playing his XBox when he should be outside getting some exercise and not getting fat.”  I don’t care if your kid is watching TV.  I just don’t. 

5. Any picture of your child doing a daily task…oh……like eating or doing homework.  I don’t care. 


Reasons to take pictures of your child:

1. Newborn – glad to see everyone is healthy.  However, one picture is enough. 

2. Vacation.  That’s cool, capture those memories with Micky

3. Sports.  Absolutely.  That’s cool.  I like that your kid is active and perhaps I will take an interest in his development as a child star, only to push him or her to the breaking point because I want to become their exclusive agent.

And that is the only reason ever to post pictures of your child on Facebook.  

I’m glad we had this talk.