Most Interesting Resume in the World
I decided to go from a traditional resume to a conversational resume. It is (perhaps) a bit too conversational, but hey, who knows. My current resume isn’t bearing much fruit and this is a far better representation of who I am. Does anyone care that I created bench marking reports for corporate insurance programs in 2006? I mean, I don’t care and I am the one who did it.
So I figured I would paste it here for you to check out. Your feedback is appreciated. Oh, and if you want to give me the best job ever that would be good too.
I took out address, phone number and the names of companies I have worked for. Just because.
Phone Number / Address / email@example.com
Objective – I want to find a job that when I wake up in the morning I don’t say to myself, “Why do I go to this job?” I have had those jobs before. I want to find a job where I work with fun, driven people. An organization where results are rewarded. A place where there is a common direction. Somewhere my job won’t be shipped to India because of “Operational Excellence”.
Me –I am concise. You will rarely see an email from me where skimming becomes necessary due to long winded nonsense. I run, not because I like it, rather, because I like the result when I finish. Writing is what I do best; it could be a real benefit to your organization (as long as it is not a TPS report).
5/2012 – Present XXX Running
I am the Al Bundy of running shoes. I fit people in shoes after watching them run on a treadmill. Pretty simple, yet it is the hardest I have worked since my first job washing dishes at an Italian bakery when I was 16 years old. It has been eye opening.
6/2011 – Present Author of My Sober Year
I wrote, edited (as best I could), and self published a novel, My Sober Year (Fiction – I did not stay sober for a year, it is always the first question I get.) It has yet to reach the New York Times Best Seller List. That said, I’m sure Hemingway’s first shot wasn’t slam dunk either.
4/2005 – 6/2011 XXXInsurance Company New York, NY
In six years I went from the office manager of a group insurance office in Philadelphia to a Director of the Midwest region for XXXX. I would say that progression wasn’t half bad.
Director – Client Relations (New York, NY): Managed $700m in retirement plan assets for corporations and municipalities. 100% asset retention over a three year duration. Traveled to Midwest for client visits monthly – it was the best part of the job, I loved meeting with my clients. In the end I left because XXXXX became a very unhappy place. Jobs were cut, budgets were cut, and everyone was looking over his or her shoulder. It wasn’t how I wanted to live 37.5% of Monday – Friday.
Sales Representative (Philadelphia, PA): Sold Life, Dental, and Disability Insurances to corporations. It was a pretty cool gig. I was out of the office making sales calls and presentations. My team sold $4.1m worth of insurance products in my only full year on board. It was the best in the office. I left the job managing pensions because I wanted to gain a breath of knowledge beyond insurance products and honestly, I really wanted to live in NYC.
Office Manager/Service Manager/Guy Who Got Things Done (Philadelphia, PA): I cut my teeth ordering supplies, keeping coffee brewed, pulling reports, and spending far too much time in an office => being promoted to service manager where I didn’t realize it would be a crash course in learning how to get yelled at and belittled. It was learning experience in how to diffuse anger and work toward solutions.
Education – Graduated from the University of Delaware in 2005 with a degree in Political Science. In essence I took classes where we thought, solved problems, and argued a lot. I learned as much bartending at the local dive bar and being Treasurer of my fraternity as I did in the classroom. I would also put quitting xxxx to travel Europe. Not finding an agent for my book and self publishing => there is more than one way to get a life-long dream accomplished.