Babysitting – The Ultimate in Family Planning

by agoodnow

So I am watching my little sister for the night (she is 5), things I have said to her tonight:

1. Wash your feet! (Of course, this is after I let her run around barefoot all day long)

2. I slaved over a hot stove so you could eat that rice. (I actually just poured a bag of rice into a boiling pot of water, but the stove was, in fact, hot.)

3. Because I said so.

4. Because I am bigger than you.

5. They cancelled Sponge Bob.

6. No, I will not find your Teddy Bear. You need to be responsible for your things.

7. No the rice is not too hot! (OK, maybe it was a bit warm)

8. No, I am not reading you the Bible.  (Catholic school is taking her over.  “My Favorite Bible Storybook for Toddler”  is not on the Andrew Goodnow curriculum for 5 year olds.  

9. Yes, one day you will be a princess (What the fuck else am I going to tell her? I don’t want to crush her hopes and dreams too early, but I would have preferred she asked about being a doctor or something usefully)

10. No desert if you don’t eat all of your rice. 

11. We do not have any milk left for a chocolate milkshake.  (She was none too pleased with that one)


Never a lack of fun watching my sister.