I Eat Chia Pets

by agoodnow

Random thoughts…….not by Jack Handy (reference to 90’s SNL)

1. The new book (not so new to me any longer) is just about there.  New title and all. I have been filling up notebooks like crazy. 

2. Getting REAL close to my Gaslight Anthem concerts.  If you read this blog on the reg (ular) you know this is exciting for me.  

Should I throw a copy of my book on stage?  Think that would be frowned upon?  It is being considered.  Feedback welcome.

3. Took the last two days off from running.  Legs needed it. 

4. I ate a lot of ice cream today.  Set a record without trying type of ice cream consumption. A guy came by and asked if he could have my autograph and sign next to my picture in the Guinness Book of Records.  Who knew?

5. I then set a cookie eating record. 

6. Nice to see nobody won Powerball last night.  My chances of becoming wealthy are still well alive.  WOOOOOO.  Actually, I am resolved to the fact that one day one of my books will be banned in a country in the Middle East or a fatwa will be declared on me and I’ll sell a ton of books while in hiding.  Hey, as long as people pay their $5.99 on Amazon that’s cool with me.  Fuck it…..here’s the link in case you find yourself NEEDING to buy my book/want me to eat this week.


7. Football season is flying by.  When were all of these games played?  I have watched them all.  It feels like it should be week 3, yet my fantasy football scrubs are 3-7…soon to be 3-8 after my bench scored 40 more points than my starters.  

8. I would like to break 1:05 in the 15K….And then I would like to run a 5 minute mile and after that I want to break the land speed record while racing a cheetah or perhaps a Shoe Elf. Though I think the Shoe Elf is the fast living mammal.  After the land speed record I think I would like to climb Everest………without a jacket or oxygen.  If not for goals, what do we have?

9.  I have been eating Chia seeds.  The “CH CH CH Chia” 1990s Chia Pet seeds.  Yes, eating them.  Hoping it will curb hair loss. Or that it will be the super food helping me set all sorts of fat guy speed records.