I guess it has been three years since I wrote…much of anything.
The past three years have been nothing short of “Did that really happen?” Up to and including the fact that I got married. As I wrote that last sentence a pig flew past my bedroom window and The Virgin Mary walked into a bar.
In the last few years I’ve had some observations. I’ll share them –
Cadbury Eggs got harder to find, so that sucks. They used to be in large bins in every drug store in America, sadly that’s no longer the case and I blame….
Hey, I guess it’s OK to roll into stores and just take things, otherwise know as stealing. Here in NYC it feels like it would be a fool’s errand to operate a retail establishment. For so many reasons, the least of which is that the internet is killing you and there appears to be zero law enforcement, so that’s fucking great. Thanks for contributing to the shut down of convenience and robbing me of the only thing that makes Easter cool.
TV has been good. Except it really isn’t TV anymore it is an internet hybrid. And are movies a thing? Is it still going to the movies if I’m watching from my couch and pausing 12 times to discuss nuances of the movie that inevitably annoy my wife to no end?
Speaking of which…who the fuck wants to deal with going to a movie? People are terrible these days. I would no more go to a theater expecting a pleasant experience than I would a Proctologist.
Great to see our government is going to forgive the loans for a generation of entitled middle class people just as I paid mine off. (timing has never been my strong suit) Also, the cost to attend my alma mater is three times what I paid (gulp) 17 years ago. I guarantee you the only things that have changed are the following – dorms are much more luxurious so kids can spend more time inside on the internet rather going out and drinking, socializing, and learning how to be a part of a community, there are less frat parties, and the students are given more mental health days because college is hard and people haven’t been taking 15 credits a semester for 200 years.
Apparently people just…go to outer space now. That’s sorta cool. Crazy, but cool.
I guess there’s a pandemic. That sucks. Here’s how I feel, we have allllll drawn our line in the sand. I no longer care what anyone else does. Live your life, I’ll live mine. My one comment is that the message that could have saved thousands of lives that not one health official has mentioned is…..Exercise, get your heart rate up a few times a week, and lose the extra pounds. It is true. It is blunt. It would save lives.
Did everyone make money in the stock market except for me? Cause I honestly have no clue how people have so much money. How on earth are people affording houses right now? I look at prices for fucking duplexes in New Jersey and they are over $1,000,000. That’s insane. Goodbye American Dream. You need two incomes and an inheritance for what used to take one income, a housewife, and some savings bonds your grandmother got you for your 8th birthday.
The Russian invasion of Ukraine is WILD. Putin must be sick. Like, dying, out of it, meglomaniac with his finger on the red button. Also, remind me to never mess with a Ukranian. Those folks are tough.
On a personal note – life is good. I’m mostly happy. I have a job I enjoy most days, I found a lengeth to my hair that hides my cowlick, a stable home life (which I never thought I wanted, but I really do enjoy it), a wife who likes me 98.9% of the time, and I drink half decent wine. Still, it’s odd, I cannot afford to buy a home (which is bizarre to me…also, hello interest rates, just the additional barrier I needed!), I feel like my friends are scattered all over the country, and there never seems to be enough hours in the day.
I’ll try to keep writing a bit more frequently. Then again, I feel like I write that every three years or so.